Tis the season of giving… and a lot of extra work. For those of us who are already giving, this means stepping up our game. Meeting the demands of the holidays may cause overwhelm. Particularly if one is an anxious person to begin with.

 

Between winterizing, winter tires and sky rocketing fuel prices, who New England isn’t stressed out in at this time of year?

 

Holiday gifts, stocking stuffers, extra baked goods and additional treats of celebratory feasts, along with the rising food prices, are enough to put almost anybody over the edge financially. Not to mention spiritually as well as mentally.

 

Whether it is Christmas, Hanukkah or Winter Solstice, as much joy as they bring, holiday events place a lot of pressure on us.

 

After all, the holidays have got to be perfect. Right?

 

Heck no.

 

No matter how hard any of us tries personally to ensure that we have gotten the perfect gifts, all in the right sizes and colors, generally, and in actuality, things will never be perfect. And if there is one thing expectations will most likely lead to, it is disappointment.

 

Expectations may very well be the root of all disappointment. For as long as we have expectations, the holidays -as will anything- fall short of even the most perfect plans.

 

This year, let us cast aside expectations in lieu of hope.

 

Let go of searching for “the perfect gift” and instead focus on the simplicity of enjoying each moment of the coming holiday season. Let us hope for the joy of time well spent with loved ones… and the experience of a little down time.

 

One might wonder how to achieve this with the busyness and difficulty of tasks and people this season can bring.

 

Be Kind to Others… and Yourself

 

With the rate of inflation, seniors, the disabled and other marginalized groups will be struggling more this year. Be a good neighbor. Check in with and on those who live nearby. If you have children, teach them to shovel paths and driveways out of the goodness of their hearts instead of the temptation to fill their wallets.

 

Stay in touch or learn about local charities to see what you can do or give to help the less fortunate if you are able. There is little else that is as uplifting for yourself (at any time of year) than to help those in need.

 

More importantly, be kind to yourself…especially when it seems like no one else is. Cut yourself some slack. No one can be or do all.

 

If you cannot personally afford to give or are unable to assist those in need this holiday season, simply do your best to spread the word about local organizations and events that can.

 

It’s going to be a difficult year for many. There is much we can do as a society for individuals who are struggling.

 

But before you put on those mittens and head out the door to help somebody else, make certain you have practiced self-care first.

 

Self-Care

 

• Stay hydrated. This one always surprises me when I think of it as self-care. Drinking plenty of fluids, primarily water, is extremely important. It helps to protect your nervous system as well as other vital tissues in your body. And if you should happen to find that you have perhaps celebrated a little too much one evening, drink even more fluids the following day. Alcohol is dehydrating, particularly if you end up getting sick.
• Take a bath
• Practice self-massage, or better yet, get someone else to give you a massage. (Massage is an excellent gift, via gift certificate or personally administered.)
• Avoid the sweets. Too much sugar is never good. It upsets the digestive system as well as blood sugar. Try to have plenty of healthy alternatives around to snack on during celebrations.
• Listen to music (or Podcasts)
• Do Yoga, Dance or Exercise. For more detailed information on the mental health benefits of exercise, click here.
• Indulge your imagination. Read a book. Even if this means binge-watching the new Dextex or Game of Thrones series, treat yourself to a little fantasy ane escape for a while.

 

For more tips on creative things to do and the benefits of self-care, click here.

 

Lastly, remember to relax.

 

Get Plenty of Rest

 

Sleep late or, more preferably, go to bed early. According to the Centers for Disease Control, adults require 7 to 8 hours of sleep per night. Do whatever you need to do to stay well rested and relaxed.

• Turn off all electronics for 30 to 60 minutes before bed
• Leave your phone in the next room while you sleep
• Read a book to fall asleep
• Avoid caffeine and sugar in the evening
• Keep the temperature in your bedroom a little cooler than the rest of the house to help ensure a good night’s sleep.
• Keep you room dark
• If needed, take a warm evening shower or bath to relax

 

Make Time for Yourself

 

How do you do this?

 

• Set boundaries. Do not fear the word NO…especially when you are the person using it.

 

• Cancel, or at least postpone, unnecessary appointments.

 

• And yes, have the audacity to put yourself first.

 

Increase Vitamin D, Stay Connected and Reduce Negativity

 

In my home state of Vermont, days are dark and dreary near 80% of the time. Getting enough Vitamin D is essential. Even if you simply stick your face in a window for ten minutes a day, get some sunlight whenever possible. A vitamin supplement works very well also. Doing both is even better.

 

Phone a friend. Staying connected is important to keep one from slipping too far into the well of darkness that comes with seasonal depression. Many may not even recognize that they have become depressed until they start coming out of it in the spring. It’s best to head depression off at the pass and be proactive.

 

If you know a person who needs uplifting, be the friend you would like to have. If someone is on your mind, call them. Trust your instinct.

 

Self-care, as well as care for others, is how we collectively best get through difficult times.

 

• Put off as many individuals, causes or institutions that drag you down as possible. (I would say put off 100% of them, but over the holidays and around family, most likely this will be next to impossible to achieve.)

 

• Avoid the subjects that will upset for you or anyone else. Unless it is who is going to carve the turkey, why bring it up? We have all year long to discuss the unpleasant stuff.

 

• If you buy gifts, make certain to remain within your budget. No one who cares about you is going to enjoy a gift that costs more than you can comfortably afford. We would all do well to remember that it is, indeed, the thought that matters.

 

Now that we have that out of the way, let’s get on to something more important.

 

Remember the Reason for the Season

“We are presently in the season of Advent, according to the Christian liturgical calendar. This is the third of the four weeks in Advent that lead up to the celebration of Jesus’ birth at Christmas. The Latin root of Advent means “coming”. So much in our lives is about what is coming, some of which we are looking forward to, some of which we are not, all of which may or may not end up coming when, where or how we were expecting. We live by faith even when we don’t subscribe to it.” ─ The Reverend John Hardman-Zimmerman

 

In Christianity, Advent refers specifically to the coming of the Messiah, the Anointed One, who will bring peace and deliver us from the evils of life. Each Sunday during the four weeks of Advent we light a candle. There are three purple candles and one pink (or white) candle arranged in a circle to remind us of our creator’s everlasting love.

 

• Week one is for HOPE (purple).
• Week two is for PEACE (purple)
• Week three is for JOY (pink or white)
• Week four is for LOVE (purple)

 

These candles represent the virtues Jesus taught us and the shining light of anticipation (hope) of our saviors coming. This time of coming is for reflection on the experiences of Jesus’s family, His arrival into a manger, after having been turned away from the warmth and the security of an Inn, to instead be kept warm by the animals which lived in the stable.

 

From the very beginning, this child of God was denied the “creature comforts” of the world, and yet He was not. This child of God may not have been treated very well by the world, yet He has saved us all.

 

This year, as we practice self-care, kindness to ourselves and others, we do so by remembering that we are all God’s children. Recognize that we each live by faith…whether we each subscribe to it or not.

 

The less we expect, the more we enjoy HOPE through spiritual faith, the better the coming of holidays will be. Let the gift of Christmas be the JOY of surprise, LOVE and PEACE for ever and ever. Amen.

 

Merry Christmas!