If you are like me, at times it can feel like you are easily and/or constantly being triggered into a state of emotional distress. The height and duration of anxiety can be overwhelming. As of late, even I, a seasoned veteran of living in the wake of trauma, have been struggling to ‘keep it together.’

 

I mentioned in last month’s blog that I live less than 100 feet away from my childhood sexual abuser, his son and grandchildren. Watching the little ones at play on the front yard with him seated nearby is a near daily reminder of the danger they face.

 

As if this isn’t enough stress, I had a falling out with my abuser’s son in May.

 

Since then, I seem to have become the target for what appears to be retaliatory behavior provoking my fears of my abuser and his son and triggering me into deep emotional stress.

 

To put it bluntly─ and please excuse the language─ turning me into a fucktard.

 

I can’t stand myself, much less expect anyone else to want to be around me.

 

While it disappoints me to see this person choosing to behave this way, especially when I have been so thoughtful of him throughout this whole process of confronting my abuser, as a survivor, I need to take care of myself first.

 

Being triggered to this extreme is not only making me feel and possibly act like a fool, it is bad for my health.

 

My heart is races, I have trouble sleeping, I am scared, I feel unsafe in my home, confused and uncertain what to do. I am reacting exactly how an abusive person wants their victim to feel, out of sorts, helpless.

 

This is no way to live.

 

I am not helpless. I am a grown woman. And when it comes right down to it, I am a survivor. I will overcome this.

 

During my cancer journey, I read somewhere that ‘a survivor is anyone who embraces the will to live… even if it is just for one moment.’

 

If you are reading this, you are survivor. We will overcome the effects our trauma.

 

The first step is identifying the problem: trauma. While it may seem like my neighbor is causing the problem, my history of abuse and the damage done by the trauma is what is causing me to react so strongly.

 

There is a direct correlation between the physical body, the mind and emotions. The body’s natural response to trauma affects our mind and our emotions.

 

Understanding what is happening to our bodies, and therefore our minds and emotions, in times of stress will take some of the fear out of the experience. What is happening is natural…for some of us.

 

My hope is that a better understanding of the body’s response to trauma will also lead to a better understanding of the person attached to it. Perhaps this blog will not only help survivors, but will be useful for our loved ones, the people who witness and try to help us cope and put our feelings into perspective.

 

Whether we have experienced trauma first hand or our lives are touched by the trauma of a survivor, trauma is likely to affect all of us some how. Perhaps that difficult person at work will become more understandable.

 

The Nervous System

 

 

The body’s natural state is to exist within the parasympathetic nervous system, otherwise known as “rest and digest,” which produces a state of equilibrium. Muscles are relaxed, heartrate is normal and the intestinal tract performs digestion. Blood flows throughout the body and we feel at peace.

 

When exposed to trauma the body’s sympathetic nervous system, also known as the “fight or fight” response, kicks in. The heartrate increases, adrenal glands release stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol, and blood rushes to the lungs and major muscle groups to ensure the body’s survival.

 

 

In sympathetic arousal, the body is ready for action.

 

Normal body functions such as digestions are put on the back burner.

 

Our bodies respond the same way to emotional stimuli.

 

Once we recognize that we have survived, our bodies relax and resume their normal functions. Adrenal glands stop releasing stress hormones, the heartrate decreases, muscles relax and the intestines begin digestion once more.

 

Healing

 

In order for the body to recover, it must return to parasympathetic nervous system arousal. One must be able to relax and process what they have been through.

 

However, not all survivors respond to or recover from trauma as anticipated.

 

According to Optimum Health Clinic leader, Alex Howard, in a 3-part video series ‘How to RESET Your Nervous System’, “Your physical and emotional bodies have a prime directive towards healing… The question is often not why is someone ill or traumatized, but what is stopping them from healing…”

 

When under significant stress, the sympathetic nervous system is aroused and our bodies go into exactly the opposite state they need to be in order to heal. This goes for physical as well as emotional healing.

 

Alex says, ‘This is why two people can experience the same external trauma and one have emotional trauma and one not, because of the state (of the nervous system), the external environment and how we internally respond.’

 

He says, ‘How we are responded to when we experience trauma is really important.’ If we get the support we need, our body is able to return to its healing state and the body and mind are able to process the trauma.

 

Not being emotional seen as a child or neglected sets us up to emotionally ignore ourselves as adults and puts us as risk for what is known as “small t trauma.”

 

Major events such as physical or sexual abuse, divorce, death of a parent or ACEs are known as “big T trauma.”

 

Additionally, some survivors have had the misfortune of experiencing big T trauma and the small t trauma of not being emotional held afterward. In effect, a double whammy.

 

Trauma impacts our nervous system and affects our physical and emotional wellbeing.

 

 

 

Stress impacts the way the physical body heals as well as our emotions. In one study of caregivers for dementia patients versus a control group, 3.5 mm muscle biopsies were done to compare the rate of healing. Not surprisingly, caregivers took 24% longer to heal from the biopsies than the unstressed control group.

 

Chronic Stress Puts Your Health at Risk.

 

The continued activation of our sympathetic nervous system over an extended period of time can cause a variety of problems including insomnia, anxiety, muscle pain and a weakened immune system. It can be debilitating and lead to fatigue affecting our physical as well as our psychological wellbeing.

 

Experiences like long-term illness, ongoing trauma and worrying about triggers and panic attacks, or ACE’s (Adverse Childhood Experiences) are not how our bodies are designed to work.

 

Chronic stress leads to our body’s and our mind’s inability to ‘rest and digest,’ which is exactly the opposite state our bodies need to be in to heal from trauma.

 

Chronic recurrent responses of our sympathetic nervous system that are ineffectual are known as maladaptive. Maladaptive responses to stress can lead to inappropriate coping mechanisms like denial.

 

This constant state of arousal/anxiety is a reaction to excessive stress and trauma. Simultaneously, it is what prevents us from processing the trauma and healing. The trauma then continues to live in our bodies.

 

This is ‘what is happening to me.’

 

Signs That You May Not Have Recovered from Trauma, Yet:

• Insomnia
• Fatigue
• Inability to relax
• Not feeling safe
• Emotional sensitivity
• Emotional numbness
• IBS (Irritable Bowel System)
• Chronic pain
• Restlessness
• Irritability/ Over reactivity/ Anger outbursts
• Lack of motivation or focus
• Chest pain
• Muscle tension or pain
• Lack of energy
• Feeling overwhelmed
• Headache
• Anxiety
• Overeating or undereating
• Drug and alcohol abuse

 

Trauma and prolonged stress have a significantly negative impact on our bodies, minds and emotions. The inability to move from the sympathetic nervous system response into the parasympathetic nervous system response can prevent us from processing the trauma and healing.

 

This Can Seriously Impact The Quality of Our Lives.

 

Survivor, now that you know what is happening to you and better understand the effects stress has on your body, you can position yourself to create a plan to move into a healing state and improve the quality of your life.

 

The best way to begin your journey towards healing is by eating healthy, getting enough rest and by exercise. Check with your doctor or go online for help moving into a parasympathetic nervous system response and begin your recovery from trauma.